:: blame the extended gestation.... ::

:: Sunday, April 28, 2002 ::

Done been gone for a while

"phosphorus glowbugs in the night sky crazy german guy discovered that
element...
never cleaned out his bathtub...
sulphur, brimstone, oh and chlorinated water syterms,
aw, you all just wanted to be argon with his magic chalck, yo ne?
but where do we draw from here?
it's so noble, this neeling painful sorrow
but baby, that bow, and we take a deep breath, and dive off the stage
again,
my friend, and again and aga8n and agian and again.........." -Tonja H.

I take things. These itty bitty moments--picture the sky as small and then wonder what big is--moments. I take them one by one. And capture them in thought, phrase, image. Repition is God, God is Repition. 180 pages of qoutes.... I know I know stop passing on what others are saying and say it. Say that thing thats on the tip of your tongue. Say it and stop trying to make others see you through others. Its not my fault. I grew up in this prison of you's not wanting to hear me. And me's not wanting to work the magic, take the time, to bend the sculpture into something you could finally see. Something that was finally understanding. A close call at actually taking that little part of me that flashes past/just now/and just now/now/now... and moving somewhere to within you. THe you. You. Other side of the Universe from where i'm standing... cause you don't break that silence of never reaching the insides of the other's I. My I is not your I. Or is it... could it be...thats what i'm trying. That second just a second where it works out. You've seen it before. Its how I know its so near to possible. In a laugh. In a smile. Its not a definite. Not an answer. But christ if you don't get it by now that i'm done with answers. I'm on the other side reasons, back over on the unreason. They say our mysterys are something special. SOmething unique and all our own. But its lonely to every few years...stop... look down and see all the madman steps you've taken...and just laugh. Brillant to know that the walls you've built. The images you love. The catch-phrase redundant repitition is where you find it. Thats why I like them, Quotes... or Qoutes... or Qoui... they bend. They break. Misused and abused. they mean only what you bring to them. They fold into tight little pretty corners. They burn so bright you can see for miles again... and so seldom do we ever want to see for miles anymore. I like it... I miss it... its what I do try so hard to do.... See for miles again.

:: Jim Nichols 4/28/2002 12:00:00 AM [+] ::
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ICC Passed
66 countrys as of April 11th. Should be interesting to see what happens.

Nations line up...

:: Jim Nichols 4/14/2002 10:48:00 PM [+] ::
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Can't be neutral on a moving train
Last night I finally listened to System of a Down, people have been telling me for a long time now that i'd like them. I had liked that one single but never got around to listening to anything else. Went nuts last night and downloaded a ton of songs. I likes, I likes. Metal and Hardcore are the same in my book, I have to have the lyrics before I think there is any quality in it. Hell I listen to Assuck and thats not even music. Plus anybody who quotes Howard Zinn in a song is okay in my book.

:: Jim Nichols 4/14/2002 01:13:00 AM [+] ::
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"People have a careless way of talking about a 'born liar,' just as they talk about a 'born poet.' But in both cases they are wrong. Lying and poetry are arts--arts, as Plato saw, not unconnected with each other--and they require the most careful study, the most disinterested devotion." -Oscar Wilde --The Decay of Lying

:: Jim Nichols 4/14/2002 01:03:00 AM [+] ::
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I stayed away for a few days!! Which is always a good thing I guess. Info overload--wake up arguing with myself-- and just don't care to process anything new. Oh I saw this movie this morning before I went to sleep called Over the Edge. I was about this planned community called New Grenada (sic) and these "crazy--out of control" kids. Its sooo bad. I loved it. I wonder if thats what The Wipers song of the same name is from. Its gotta be, around the same time at least. I saw Ghost World, my dad kept trying to get me to go when it was in the theatres, finally got around to renting it. It was good, I enjoyed. Pure disillusionment, great lines, strange secondary characters. Thora Birch and Steve Buscemi were a hoot...

:: Jim Nichols 4/14/2002 12:50:00 AM [+] ::
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It's The Occupation
by Bill Thomson
excerts:

"As UN Secretary General Kofi Annan put it in a letter to Prime Minister Sharon on March 19, 'In this connection, I feel obliged to call your attention to disturbing patterns in the treatment of civilians and humanitarian relief workers by the Israeli Defense Forces .... Judging from the means and methods employed by the IDF - F16 fighter bombers [supplied by the United States-BT], helicopter and naval gunships [supplied by the United States-BT], missiles and bombs of heavy tonnage [also supplied by the United States-BT] - the fighting has come to resemble all-out conventional warfare.' "

"How are we, as Americans, to interpret such events? Why didn't the Palestinians accept former Prime Minister Barak's "generous offer", which would have given the Palestinians "most of what they wanted"?
Imagine that someone comes to you and makes the following proposal: I am going to let you and your family finally live in your home, relatively undisturbed. Most of the rooms will be yours to do with as you see fit--all I want is one room, the hallways, and control over who goes in and out your front and back door. You may occasionally have to ask my permission to go to the bathroom or into the kitchen to prepare a meal, but I will usually let you pass with only a quick glance. However, remember that anytime I want, I can seal up the hallways and make you go to your room. I understand that you are willing to let me have the rest of the neighborhood. I just need a little bit more to make me feel safe. And I'll be happy to give you a few acres out by the city dump in exchange for the room in your home."

"In a 1998 article, Rumania & Bar-Tel point out that both Israelis and Palestinians both perceive only themselves as historical victims, and both have legitimate claims to the land. Through systematic internal indoctrination, each sees the other as an invader. Palestinians fail to understand the Israeli obsession with security, based on Israeli's self-perception as an island in an Arab sea, recognizing that to lose a war is tantamount to disappearance as a nation. Israelis' fail to understand Palestinians' legitimate claims to the land and need for a viable state, and that Palestinians see themselves as having borne the brunt of an oppressive military occupation for many decades. Both sides assume that through violence they can prevail, without carefully and logically considering the ultimate outcomes of such violence."

"Finally, what is the role of America in this process? Unfortunately, our claim to be an "honest broker" in this process is transparently false. One need look no further than our long history of financial and military support of Israel over the last five decades ($92 billion), or the recent declaration of support of Israel by 70 members of the US Senate. Of such actions is not honest-broker ship made. It is long past time for us to retire to the sidelines, and allow this issue to be dealt with by the United Nations, the European Union and other appropriate international bodies. The alternative is more decades of oppression, violence and fear."

:: Jim Nichols 4/10/2002 04:46:00 AM [+] ::
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On Bush's recent (un)speech about the Middle East conflict
Bush's Speech By Robert Fisk (my italics)

"On it went, 11 September-speak applied to the Middle East. Israel's enemies must be eliminated - Al Aqsa, Hamas, Islamic Jihad and Hizbollah, which yesterday beat up a UN observer on the Lebanese border in the most dangerous incident of its kind since the Israeli withdrawal in 2000. The whole Bush speech revolved around Israel's well being, with scarcely three minutes devoted to the Palestinians and their 35 years under occupation. Israel should, Mr Bush decided, show a "respect'' for and "concern'' for the Palestinian people.

There was some ritual mention of UN Security Council resolutions 242 and 338, which calls for Israeli withdrawal from territories occupied in the 1967 war but which Mr Sharon has already said he cannot accept, and an appeal to halt settlement building. But Jewish settlements are still being built, at an ever-faster rate, on Palestinian land.

Only a heart of stone could not respond to the suffering of those Israeli families whose loved ones have been so wickedly cut down by the Palestinian suicide bombers. But where was Mr Bush's compassion for the vastly greater number of Palestinians who have been killed by the Israelis over the past 19 months, or his condemnation of Israel's death squads, house demolition and land theft? They simply didn't exist in the Bush speech.

The money for "martyrs" does not, of course, only go to the kin of suicide bombers - it goes to families of all those killed by Israelis, most of whom have been struck down by American-made weapons. Certainly, America has never offered to make reparations for the innocents killed by the air-to-ground missiles and shells it has sold to Israel."

:: Jim Nichols 4/10/2002 04:26:00 AM [+] ::
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" It is simply extraordinary and without precedent that Israel’s history, its record- from the fact that it… is a state built on conquest, that it has invaded surrounding countries, bombed and destroyed at will, to the fact that it currently occupies Lebanese, Syrian, and Palestinian territory against international law- is simply never cited, never subjected to scrutiny in the U.S. media or in official discourse…never addressed as playing any role at all in provoking’Islamic Terror’."

Edward Said in " The Progressive," May 30, 1996.

:: Jim Nichols 4/10/2002 04:16:00 AM [+] ::
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So i've been stuck at an ethical fork in the road... its 20 bucks to go to san fran for the solidarity march... do I go? Because I know I should. I know I would be important as another number, which is the only way people with signs and banging on drums ever are, its such a joke. But the bigger the better. No publicity is bad publicity ya know. But at the same time, being selfish (and self-rightous), do I want to spend the day muttering under my breath "I don't like you" "You're a moron" "You are doing this cause some mythical being told you to be nice" "You're a fascist, like me" (we don't like our own). THe brilliance of the system is to change anything it takes organization or money... and organization means you have to stand your fellow human beings. And fact is I don't. Its an irrational pyschological creation of mine, but the rational side of me understands my own pettyness... so I split the differece. I'm sending the 20 bucks to the Sacto peace action network... organization or money. I'll pay some bills at least. Plus I can spend that day working on school... which is quite a radical action for me.

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 11:27:00 PM [+] ::
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"Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry." -Spanish Proverb

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 10:48:00 PM [+] ::
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Dear Cancer "You are not likely to be impressed by strong overbearing actions that try to lead you down a certain path." shocking was all the audience could say

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 10:46:00 PM [+] ::
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The Taxonomist: The unrelenting corporate welfare lobby By Robert S. McIntyre

"So here we are, with corporate taxes down to historically low levels, last year's big upper-income tax cuts phasing in, and deficit spending and raids on the Social Security trust fund as far as the eye can see. The Bush administration's relentless drive to reprise "That Early '80s Show" continues unabated."

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 10:43:00 PM [+] ::
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Poor oppressed conservatives
You know why the media is more liberal than the average american... cause they're more fucking educated fuck nuts...

I never said it wasn't a good thing that others actually take the time to make more mature rational arguments... I just said I'm not gonna do it....

Label Whores By Geoffrey Nunberg

THE CONTRADICTIONS OF CONSERVATIVE MEDIA CRITICISM. by Jonathan Chait

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 10:36:00 PM [+] ::
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oh that
triskaidekaphobia \triss-kye-deh-kuh-FOH-bee-uh\ (noun) : fear of the number 13

It's impossible to say just how or when the number thirteen got its bad reputation. There are a number of theories, of course. Some say it comes from the Last Supper, because Jesus was betrayed afterwards by one among the thirteen present. Others trace the source of the superstition much farther back, to ancient Hindu beliefs or Norse mythology. But if written references are any indication, the phenomenon isn't all that old (at least, not among English speakers). Known mention of fear of thirteen in print dates back only to the late 1800s. By circa 1911, however, it was prevalent enough to merit a name, which was formed by attaching the Greek word for "thirteen" --"treiskaideka" (dropping that first "e") -- to "phobia" ("fear of").
Merriam-Webster, Inc.

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 10:08:00 PM [+] ::
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Is Israel's Present America's Future? By Robert Wright


best points:

"Sharon's basic approach to fighting terrorism has been to find terrorists and kill them, a tactic that also lies near the heart of Bush's strategy. But so far, at least, the more terrorists Sharon kills, the more Israelis get killed by terrorists. You get the picture"

"The problem goes beyond suicide bombers (who obviously don't meet standard game-theory assumptions about rational self-interest), extending well up the chain of command. In January, Israel assassinated Raed al-Karmi, a leader of the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades. Would this deter the group by sending a chilling message to its surviving leaders? Apparently not. Prior to the assassination, the Al-Aqsa Brigades had confined its terrorism to the occupied territories. Since the assassination, it has moved into Israel proper and has launched more suicide bombings than Hamas or any other group."

"Killing terrorists doesn't just fail to discourage aspiring martyrs—it can actually create more of them."

"Bush, similarly, says we need to address the sources of Islamic discontent, including poverty; but when it came time to open American textile markets to Pakistan—which Gen. Musharraf had requested in exchange for his courageous alliance with America—Bush balked."

"It's true that Bush was finally shamed into increasing foreign aid. It will go up by as much as $5 billion a year. But that's about one-tenth of the projected increase in annual Pentagon spending in the wake of 9/11."

"The point isn't that we shouldn't hunt terrorists. Obviously, it's good news that Bin Laden lieutenant Abu Zubaydah was just nabbed in Pakistan—and that his high-level colleague Mohammed Atef was killed during the Afghan war. But, in deciding when, where, and how to hunt terrorists, we should bear in mind that hunting them is more fraught with downside than, say, hunting bank robbers."

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 10:02:00 PM [+] ::
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"Anti-militarists would be more effective in their work if they could see how safeguarding elite interests is the prime engine behind U.S. military expansion. The work we do to block certain weapons systems must be done in conjunction with organizing to undermine the for-profit, market-based economy that institutionalizes greed, concentration of wealth, and a class-based society that reinforces hierarchy and privilege at every turn." -Cynthia Peters

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 09:33:00 PM [+] ::
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Earth at Night

Cool shit... click the pic its great...

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 08:09:00 PM [+] ::
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Communism with a young face By James Pitkin

Eastern Europe's push west is still not going over as well as it was desired. Which is probably good for Democracy.

:: Jim Nichols 4/09/2002 07:43:00 PM [+] ::
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“I knew that I shouldn’t have, but I did it all the same; and there you have my epitaph, or one of them, because my grave is going to require a monument inscribed on all four sides with rueful mottoes, in small characters, set close together.” -Wonder Boys

:: Jim Nichols 4/08/2002 01:05:00 AM [+] ::
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"Many of the most valuable structures devised.... may require considerable effort to acquire. Music, mathematics, science and human rights are just a few of the systems of thought that must be built up layer by layer and integrated. Although understanding or creating such constructions is difficult, the need for struggle should not be grounds for avoidance." -Alan Kay

"Humans are predisposed by biology to live in the barbarism of the deep past. Only by an effort of will and through use of our invented representations can we bring ourselves into the present and peek into the future." -Alan Kay Computers,Networks and Education

:: Jim Nichols 4/08/2002 01:05:00 AM [+] ::
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Found Another Movie
Flix has been playing this movie Out of it
some funny lines...oh its bad....but its got Jon Voight
Paul Williams directed it... he's the guy who directed The Revolutionary (also with Voight and Robert Duvall) which I have honestly yet to see...

I think i've found a name for my movie addiction.... "Offbeat, low-budget youth flick" maybe its cause I think I am one.

:: Jim Nichols 4/07/2002 05:54:00 AM [+] ::
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Oh-oh tuesday is going to be a NEW Stars Hallow extravaganza! "There's the Rub" (I need a life) anyways here are some gems from "Lost and found":
LORELAI: Oh, I’m fine. I’m just being dramatic. It’s what I do.
-----------------------
LORELAI: I’ve never seen so much stuff. It looks like a white trash Hearst Castle in here.
---------------------
LUKE: We can paint it.
JESS: You mean I can paint it.
LUKE: We can paint it together.
JESS: Great, then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
------------------------
JESS: So we get curtains.
LUKE: Well, you’ll have to help me put them up.
JESS: Great, then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
LUKE: Stop saying that.
---------------------
KIRK: I’ll give you fifty-five cents.
GYPSY: It’s sixty-five.
KIRK: Fifty-five cents.
GYPSY: Kirk, it’s for charity. There’s no haggling.
KIRK: Oh no, there’s always haggling. Sixty cents.
-------------------------
LORELAI: And to make matters worse, she spots it: the single bed.
LUKE: What's wrong with a single bed?
LORELAI: You know what they say.
LUKE: No, what do they say?
LORELAI: Never, ever date a guy who owns a single bed. It means he's not open to a commitment.
LUKE: What?
LORELAI: It says there's no room in this life for anybody but me.
LUKE: No, it says there's no room in this bed for anyone but me.
----------------------
LUKE: Ten properties? What are you, buying up the town?
TAYLOR: Not yet, but someday – who knows?
LUKE: But why isn’t anyone stopping you?
TAYLOR: Because, my friend, people are lazy. They don’t wanna think about the proper fabric for an awning or the correct historical color for a building. They just slap any old thing up on a wall and sleep like babies. But soon, hopefully, the city council will put an end to that.
LUKE: Taylor, you cannot tell people what color to paint their buildings!
TAYLOR: Well, someone has to.
LUKE: No, they don’t. We don’t live in a fascist country.
TAYLOR: Oh, this isn’t about the fascists – who, by the way, had their faults but their parks were spotless.
LUKE: I have to get out of here.
----------
[Cut to Luke's, Jess is reading and listening to music as Luke walks in and takes a sledgehammer out of the closet. He walks across the room and swings the sledgehammer through the wall, then hands it to Jess.]
LUKE: That’s your room. Finish up. We’ll hold hands and skip afterwards.

:: Jim Nichols 4/07/2002 05:16:00 AM [+] ::
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Ah..hemmm.... U.S. taxpayers
"All I ask is that, in the midst of a murderous world, we agree to reflect on murder and to make a choice. After that, we can distinguish those who accept the consequences of being murderers themselves or the accomplices of murderers, and those who refuse to do so with all their force and being. Since this terrible dividing line does actually exist, it will be a gain if it be clearly marked." -Camus

:: Jim Nichols 4/07/2002 04:35:00 AM [+] ::
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A little old but still a good article for clarity of intentions Israel's True Intentions in Removing Arafat
By R.S. Zaharna
December 4, 2001
some major points:

"The sustained and myopic focus on the Palestinian leader, Yasser Arafat, has little to do with stopping "terrorism." What removing Arafat will do is induce a Palestinian civil war and, by extension, give Israel a pretext for re-occupying the Palestinian territories."

"The Palestinian leader himself was reluctant to attend the talks at Camp David because he knew the mood among Palestinians was unfavorable to doing so. Under intense pressure from Clinton, he did come to Camp David. Despite repeated American assurances that the Palestinian leader would not be held accountable for potential setbacks, that is exactly what happened. Arafat was personally singled out as the reason for the failure at Camp David. Only months later did American officials privy to the talks reveal that it was the Israeli delegation that stalled."

"The Israelis, by intensifying the focus on Arafat and Palestinian “violence,” were able to downplay Israel’s continuing military occupation and Palestinian disenchantment with military occupation and the peace process that had perpetuated the occupation. The more Israel focused on Arafat and Palestinian “violence,” the more Israel was able to obscure the brutal realities of its military occupation."


"Israeli actions in early spring 2001 clearly suggest that Israeli actions to "maintain security," had a dual, longer-term, strategic purpose. First, the Israelis, by cordoning off the major Palestinian towns from each other and constructing a network of check points and trenches, were able to effectively isolate major segments of the Palestinian population from each other. The "power" of the Palestinian Authority was reduced to noncontiguous pockets of limited control."

"This is the beauty of an effective media campaign. So long as one can control perceptions through intensify and downplay techniques, the reality of the situation on the ground is meaningless. It is the perception that matters"

"The reality on the ground is that Arafat does not and cannot control Palestinian suicide bombers or attacks against Israelis. Both are the direct result of the continued Israeli military occupation of Palestinian territories. So long as the Israeli occupation continues, Palestinians will persist in their efforts to end that occupation, by whatever means. Israeli settlers and soldiers are particularly vulnerable to continued Palestinian attacks because they are viewed as the means and instruments of the Israeli occupation."

"If Arafat does yield to Israeli and American pressure to arrest all Palestinian militants (who are perceived by the Palestinian population as legitimately resisting Israeli occupation) Arafat will be removed from power and a Palestinian civil war will likely ensue."

:: Jim Nichols 4/07/2002 04:16:00 AM [+] ::
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I left the cabinet door unlocked, the kids got a hold of my magnum opus...I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt... Miss Sarah left last week and I haven't had the urge to run get her or even get out of bed...so instead... hey go to the store and buy beer. PBR in a bottle. I didnt know there were such wonderous things in the world, but there is much I don't know. Standing in line I see Lorelai on the cover of some girl mag... so to the embaressment of those around me I did what any self respecting guy would do... I jumped up and down for a good five minutes pleading for my dad to buy it for me. Untill I realized I had come by myself and would have to make the all important 2 dollar question on my own. ANd so I leave the store by 12:20 with my beer...two packs of cookies (I know, the lady at the check-out yelled at me... I believe the exact words were "eweeh cookies and beer?") and a seventeen. pg 44 chic butterfly accessories. pg 94 how to tell mom you had sex. pg 144 Gilmore Girl power (?). I think this is called not studying. I couldn't make these things up if I tried.

:: Jim Nichols 4/06/2002 03:41:00 AM [+] ::
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Why do you hate America so much?

:: Jim Nichols 4/03/2002 12:33:00 AM [+] ::
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Wheres Nato when they really need to be bombing the fuck out of a rogue nation this conflict has gone on too long. The international community sans the U.S. has said for years that Israel is in violation of international law which is terrorism on a grand scale. Plus sharon's a war criminal from back in the day... there should have been more vocal opposition against him from the start.

:: Jim Nichols 4/01/2002 08:43:00 AM [+] ::
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In the 5th century B.C. there was a rabble-rousing
Athenian, a politician named Hyperbolus, who often made
exaggerated promises and claims that whipped people into a
frenzy. But even though it sounds appropriate, Hyperbolus's
name did not play a role in the development of the modern
English word "hyperbole." That noun does come to us from Greek
(by way of Latin), but from the Greek verb "hyperballein,"
meaning "to exceed," not from the name of the Athenian
demagogue.

Merriam-Webster, Inc.

:: Jim Nichols 4/01/2002 08:30:00 AM [+] ::
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"I don't understand it. They sound like children on teams, more interested in being right than finding truth. I seriously don't get it. These people are children dressed as adults, pretending their grown-up games are more important now that their hair is thinning, or leaving. I wish I could understand, then maybe I don't. I already see solutions invisible to indifferent eyes content in struggle masquerading as a reason to survive. I don't think understanding would help anything, though I don't see how
I could be much more frustrated watching these Pagliacci clowns bickering over imaginary agendas yielding nothing in the end other than empty, short-termed victory ever-elusive, ever-fleeting.

But I am too, lying I mean. I understand why they do what they do, why they think what they think. It's not complicated understanding why people believe what they believe they need what the need and believe what they read and so I do understand. I do know why. What I don't know is why I don't, or how I can make them like me and this world a Utopia, and why I can't be like them and never change a thing. Breathe out... wait, I'm just typing that but not actually breathing. Ok, there we go." -Voltaaron

:: Jim Nichols 4/01/2002 08:24:00 AM [+] ::
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I know not the authenticity of this but as with all quotes I don't really care.....this is funny


"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids,we'd all be
running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive
electronic music."
- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989.

:: Jim Nichols 4/01/2002 07:58:00 AM [+] ::
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Bill Clinton will always and forever be my hero I mean like to the point of tears in the eyes when I speak of him to my children... terribly unsucessful liberal (old sense not neo dlc liberal) but a political maverick the likes of we might not get to see for a while. Plus the Right hates him more than they hate me. And when he started debating the definition of is...ah... what else is there in life... The man is smart, witty, and you never ever know when to believe him.


"“One night last year he called about 1 a.m. ranting and raving about something,” says Julia Payne, his spokesperson. “And I said, ‘Sir, are you watching Fox again?’”


“I think being angry or resentful is totally destructive,”

“The biggest wounds in life are all self-inflicted,”

"While he says he’ll probably write 1,200 pages and cut it in half, nothing has been turned in yet to Robert Gottlieb, his editor at Knopf, and longtime Clinton associates fear that, as one says, 'the process is going to be what all Clinton writing projects are—a train wreck.' ”

“That bartender’s Social Security shouldn’t be sacrificed to cut my taxes”;

:: Jim Nichols 4/01/2002 07:08:00 AM [+] ::
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It has recently been brought to my attention that motherfucker is in the dictionary. No joke, go see for yourself "...must be in response to the requests for a synonym for "compassionate conservative." (-Bob)

:: Jim Nichols 4/01/2002 06:57:00 AM [+] ::
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That ever important question when looking at the clock at 6 am when you're supposed to get up at 10 am... do I keep trying to sleep or just give up and start my post-spring break as I ended the pre. Exhausted. Hey it adds that special spice to the day you do have to admit. On another...an...other. Hey check that out. Nevermind...on another note the blue ribbon panel I set up to decide the most appropriate plan of action for filling the next 40 years of drab boring and existentially unavoidable angst has come to an interesting breakthrough. I think it had something to do with my creative output and lack of intellectual output over spring break... I successfully wrote 4 songs and got some decent work on that play I begot from the gods and got very little work at all on my research paper because it may be interesting to me but is not enjoyable in the I wanna wanna wanna. What with the only 3 going arguments for the universe leaving me either in a place of perpetual expansion where everything goes black, in a state of stagnant circling, or in one really big crunch... i’m starting to see that improving the educational understanding (for myself and the market of ideas) isn’t the thing that gonna keep me enticed into productively sticking around since my endeavors have always been (or should I say began) in showing “them” that “they” aren’t the “good” people “they” claim “they” are, not in finding how “I” am (cause I’m not) or could better be “good” people...whatever that means. So I go to option...errr wait what am I on now.... e I believe. M.F.A in creative writing, where I get to work on that novel thingy i’ve been thinking about and if it does poorly well I can teach other people to fail miserably doing what they love. And its that economic stability that really is the sticking point, gotta teach something in the end I guess--i’m so not rebellious-- living in someone’s closet just doesn’t seem like “fun” at least knowing my neurotransmitters. I was reading this interview with Michael Chabonearlier and it all kinda fell into place. That smack you upside the head so hard it turns ya purple (purple like the dinosaur not that transparent lollipop purple) and makes you say, “well gee i’ve known that for a while now, why’d it take me so long to admit it to myself”. If I'm gonna go into debt for grad school it should be doing something crazy and stupid and fun(ny) not something that constantly reminds me how crazy stupid and (un)fun(ny) most you people are.


Dave Edelman: Michael, you attended a writing program... Do you feel that these programs help writers? Is writing a skill that can be taught?

M.chabon: They help first and foremost in that they give a new writer time, encouragement, and financial support when it's most crucial...and the company of other new writers is extremely valuable and helpful.

:: Jim Nichols 4/01/2002 06:46:00 AM [+] ::
...